Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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