So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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