Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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