So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
