Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
