so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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