i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
