sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
