Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
