I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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