so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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