he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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