Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
