You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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