I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize