Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
