My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
