you guys were way drunker than both of me
too bad you live with your parents still
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
