my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
