I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
