i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize