Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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