tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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