Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
