I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it because I queefed?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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