Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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