you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
