I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
