happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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