he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize