So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
