I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
