Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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