get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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