And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
