He told me they were just razor bumps!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why are your pants in the freezer?