yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we made out on top of his cat.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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