I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with