My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity