Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize