and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
