Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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