I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I faked an abortion last night.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
