yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dicks are not precious.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
