can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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