Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
