Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
