we have officially lost it.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
