once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
