Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
