Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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