I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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