You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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