did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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