nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize