WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They took my balls.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
