no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
