no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
